Religion jokes
P.l.a.n.e.
Precious lord, are nonbelievers evil?
Who was the first carpenter?
Eve, she made Adam's banana stand...
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says, “Where’s Mohammed?”
If I tell you, "Jesus is the trickster," am I, or is he?
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."
Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."
Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."
Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."
Why is the elephant headed God the true God?
Because he doesn't exist!
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
Bruh, frog cult is besttttt!
Why does an orphan go to church?
So they can call someone "father."
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
I am starting a frog cult now!
To Drew the Devil,
We NEED to talk RN. I'm very mad at you, and we need to talk.
Angry Alex
When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"
They don't call priests "daddy," they call me daddy.
What's the difference between Axne and a priest??
One waits till you're 13 to come on your face.