Relationship jokes

There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.

What do you call a group of brothers who fuck one another?

Super Smash Bros.

1 and 2 fell in love. The 2 said, "You're the only 1 for me!"

Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.

Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?

A. A boner.

Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.

Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.

What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?

Explosion.

Why can't orphans be gay?

They don't know who to call daddy.

Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!

Why did the orphan become a prostitute?

Because they needed someone to call "daddy".

How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?

You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.

Sorry.

Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.

There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.

Here's how to piss off all of North America.

All the United States is, is South Canadia.

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

When I was a kid, I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.

A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.

The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.

Haha, I fucked you over!