Relationship jokes
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
Ex: baby i miss u.
Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.
Ex: who died?!
Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.
When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.
My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.
We had sex afterwards even though she lost.
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
Like if your dad is abusive.
Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.
Mickey Mouse went to a psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.”
The psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.”
He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.