Relationship Jokes

Attention- Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? Its strang because they havent said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess) Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD I just thought further into life with their relationship DON'T DO THAT. Agent Chipmunk Out

Me and my brother talking about relationships Me: We live kind of differently Brother: We're sort of alike Me: We're not alike Brother because he's taken: cause you don't have boyfriend! My thoughts: You're right. Cause I have a girlfriend!

Roses are red violets are blue were breaking up because I never love you

Every woman will die in five seconds Mother : dies Sister : dies Girlfriend:lives You : 🤬

Boyfreaind- let go to bed Girlfriend- no Boyfriend- why Girlfriend-because you want sex Boyfriend- no i dont NEXT MINUT The nan could hear banging

I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.

I needn't have bothered.

The next day, it was smeared all over my face.

Wife: Honey, i love you

Husband: i love you all

Wife: awwww.......... Wait WHAT ?!?!??!

Roses are red Violets are blue If hes busy on Valentines day the side chick is you

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number. We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden

When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen

and then you remember you’re french

I love to have sex and my name is lex which one should i be with next i really hate my ex i just saw a huge t rex and i think you probably saw this text

Welcome for the rhyme

He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do u call it life?

She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do u call it life?

A guy told a beautiful girl "hey I want to make love to you if I throw 2000$ when you go to pick it up that's when I'll go is that okay?" She called her husband and he said "okay but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down" Four hours later she shows up to her house and tell her husband "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS"

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan (one), you've seen Ahmal (them all)."

What do you call a cow with three legs? My ex

What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?

A widow.

whats asian but has broken up with its girlfriend a DUMPling

So I was at the store and I saw a pretty Woman and i said hi and quickly she said i am not interested I have a husband and when i saw the woman again she said i need help i said no Call you husband KARMA 😂😂😜