Relationship jokes
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.
Ex: baby i miss u.
Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.
Ex: who died?!
Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.
My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.
We had sex afterwards even though she lost.
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
Like if your dad is abusive.
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.
Mickey Mouse went to a psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.”
The psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.”
He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.