Relationship jokes
Jeremy likes to kiss men. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Why are all lesbians bad at math?
Because they can't multiply.
Me and my friends were talking. Then we started talking about our wives. I said, "So, I married a volcano for a wife. You never know when she will blow up."
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?
Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.
Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
Hi, father, I failed the class, you mommy!
I was digging in my garden when I found a treasure chest full of gold. I was about to run inside and tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
If sex with three people is called a "threesome" and sex with two people is called a "twosome," then I know why people call you handsome!
I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...
“Are you still holding the ladder??”
What do you call an orphan's family picture? A self-portrait.
Ur adopted.
Why can orphans just be gay?
Cause they want to call somebody "daddy."
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.
The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have nobody to call "daddy."