What do a doctor and a girlfriend/boyfriend have in common?
They both break your heart.
I love everyone.
Women are like marshmallows because they're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.
Your name is baller cuz ur in my mom's baller.
If you hit 9999 orphans and they all tell each other, are the other orphans their parents???
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not your.
Not your who?
Not your mama!
"Don't have sex" - Jake.
What's two lesbians in a tent?
A finger hut.
When my friend says I suck at something, I'm like, "U swallow."
Ur mom, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I have no friends :'(
My dick's so big, I stuck it in your mom's loose hole.
Why does my brother have no mom?
Every like this gets, I will kill a telemarketer.
Every dislike, I will kill a cute puppy.
Every comment, I will kill your ex bf or gf and send you a PS5.
It’s like I always tell my kids:
"Two in the pink, one in the stink."
So this guy we talked to wanted me to leave forever, and we said, "What? You never want to hear from me again?"
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.
If you're bored, hump Danny and fuck him. What is he, goons do fuck rock?
Why did Morgan’s dad leave her?
She kept making dad jokes.
My and my penis never truly understood the words "Booby traps" until we met the ex-wife. God's gift of self-will was working fine until my penis went hard and my mind went blank, and God started laughing, and I swear I heard him say, "Booby trap" as he walked away! True story.
Friend, your mum's fat.
Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.
