Relationship jokes

I don’t have another talking stage in me. 🤦🏿‍♂️ Do you squirt, and is your BD dead? 😭

John walked into Pat at the barn. He was dancing naked in front of a tractor. John said, "Hey, Pat, what are you doing?"

Pat said, "Well, me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed, so I went to a therapist, and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)."

Why do orphans love dogs?

Because dogs stay with them.

I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."

I am cutie cutie, just like my bro, herishy.

Person 1: Omg, my blind boyfriend cheated on me.

Person 2: What did you expect? Him to see other hoes...

My dick wants to buy you a beer. 🍺

drew here freshfry you are almost deadfry! I forgive you, just don't do it again. You know what I am talking about!

Women say men are trash.

Yet men made the phone, laptops, computer and electrical hardware she uses to say men are trash, never mind the electricity she uses to power those devices...

Addison, it's Emboy again. I just want to be honest, you sound like a tease! And teases get spanked.

When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"

I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.

Me and 1/2 of my friends.

Fuck you and your shitty family!

I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.

I hated getting bullied in school because I could never stand up for myself.

Mom!

I'm gay because I like men.

You: I want my mama.

Me: Soz, you can't even get one.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your dad.