Relationship jokes

I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.

Snapchat: @colin_green21

I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have big dick. Add me.

Snapchat- any.bry05

*Son comes out as gay*

Me: What's 17 more years?

What do you get when you cross mums and makeup?

Beauty!

Gwen pegs Xavier.

Hey Gwen, uhhhhhhh, fresfry told me to tell you I like you. Jk, I don't.

My boyfriend's sister is mad because I smashed his girl.

"Roses are red, I'm a girl, Now go and take a hike."

What do women and dog turds have in common?

The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

Dmitriy has no mother.

My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.

Me: Sister, are you wearing makeup?

My sister wearing all the world's makeup.

Sister: Just a little.

Women, you're a marshmallow because you're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.

Know why they call gonorrhea gonorrhea?

'Cause once you have it, everyone is gone.

Mom!

What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...

Alright ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! Have a good fucking life, I hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever I've passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beef, I'll fight u bro, ur prob a stick, I'm fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.

Did you know there’s a sex move called Amazon?

You wait all day and nobody comes.

I fucked your mum last night, that she was salty.

Would I be considered a "homo" because I have sex at home?