Relationship jokes

I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.

Snapchat: @colin_green21

I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have big dick. Add me.

Snapchat- any.bry05

My boyfriend's sister is mad because I smashed his girl.

Every time I come straight home from work, you're in the bed asleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.

Then the next thing I noticed, you just came back from the dead in no time, dummy.

What did the brother say to the other brother? "You are brother, brother."

Did you know there’s a sex move called Amazon?

You wait all day and nobody comes.

HEY D.K. date ME, not that weirdo Freshfry! I LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUU D.K. Let's DATE! I'm 13 ;)

I got a text from Kb. She said: "Really Gwen said that! Will fine Idc! \"Hurt\""

Thanks a lot, Gwen!

Gwen, I am not gay. There is some stupid faker online! I swear on my life that I am not!

Btw, if I was gay, then why am I chatting and dating a girl?

Your mom is fat, oh yeah, oh yeah, uh, uhhh.

Coworker, why is Sara so blue?

Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you with your husband together out of love. You better watch out dear, she might "saraorize" him, with her crooked teeth and ultra-thin lips.

I fucked your mum last night, that she was salty.

What do frogs wear for shoes? Open toad.

What does your mom say to you? "Love you, moody."

Are you a waterfall?

'Cause I'm falling for you.

A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?

Q: One that has a sense of money.

Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.

Me: Mine DON'T :(

I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.

She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...

What does a homeless man call his mother?

Useless.

What do you say to your partner with diabetes?

Hey, sugar!

When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”