Relationship jokes

I hated getting bullied in school because I could never stand up for myself.

My dick wants to buy you a beer. 🍺

I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.

I am cutie cutie, just like my bro, herishy.

I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships.

It's a sad state of affairs.

John walked into Pat at the barn. He was dancing naked in front of a tractor. John said, "Hey, Pat, what are you doing?"

Pat said, "Well, me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed, so I went to a therapist, and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)."

What do you call useless skin on a penis?

A man.

I don’t have another talking stage in me. 🤦🏿‍♂️ Do you squirt, and is your BD dead? 😭

Person 1: Omg, my blind boyfriend cheated on me.

Person 2: What did you expect? Him to see other hoes...

Mom (DYM 65).

A man walks into a bar and see's a naked lady, "WOOW SHES HOT!" HE picks her up and pee's on her and says, "Hi lady lets have sex."

Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.

Addison, it's Emboy again. I just want to be honest, you sound like a tease! And teases get spanked.

Dani: What's so funny?

Tess: Your face! 'Cause you're ugly!

Dani: WHY!!!!!!!

When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"

I'm gay because I like men.

drew here freshfry you are almost deadfry! I forgive you, just don't do it again. You know what I am talking about!

Mom!

Why do orphans love dogs?

Because dogs stay with them.

You: I want my mama.

Me: Soz, you can't even get one.