Relationship jokes
#takemebacksophie
Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Orphan: What's a mama?
Random kid: *shook*
How do you know if a rapist loves you?
He will rape you many times.
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
I was eating this girl out the other day and I tasted horse semen... I looked up at the girl and said “that’s how you died, grandma!”
Girls be like
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.
Haha, I fucked you over!
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"
Ur mom.
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.
Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.
Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?
Who cares?
How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.
My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.
And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke weed.
Jack and Jill got high, and Jack ripped Jill's clothes right off her. Then Jill ripped Jack's clothes off. Jack, when they were fully naked, they started to kiss, but Jack stopped. Jill said, "I know you wanna." Jack said, "No," but Jill jumped on that candy stick anyway. Jack gave in to Jill.
Jill got off, then let Jack suck her candy stick. Jill sucked on Jack's candy stick.
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.