Relationship jokes
Do you like me? Joke... Well come on!
BOOMSHACKALATA!
If you're ever bored, adopt an orphan. What is he going to do, be kissed by Vedanta?
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
GF: Laying down.
BF: GROANING
GF: Are you good at aiming and shooting?
BF: Yeah, why?
GF: Shoot that did in there.
BF: Mmmhuugh
Hi, I did not text back to text her and dad, now I’m texting her. Now I’m.
My and my penis never truly understood the words "Booby traps" until we met the ex-wife. God's gift of self-will was working fine until my penis went hard and my mind went blank, and God started laughing, and I swear I heard him say, "Booby trap" as he walked away! True story.
My friend dared me to steal my other friend's watch. I tried, but failed. He really got me, dare.
Son: I love you, Dad.
Dad gets in car and drives away.
My d*ck is hard, what's your name?
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag.
OK, I'm joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
Just 'cause I have a big penis doesn't mean I can't have sex.
You walk into your grandma's room and you see her naked and she says "Come here grandson." What would you do?
My wife is not only gone like gonorrhea, she is also gone because of my (and now her) gonorrhea.
Your mom is so fat that she broke your crush!
I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"
Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.
I just had a birthday party last week at my crib. I invited two fine, beautiful looking women. One was skinny and her name was Kelly, and the other one was overweight and her name was Chiquita.
Both of them came by. I told Chiquita only Kelly can stay and enjoy my birthday. You can't, you're too fat and clumsy, and I don't have any food or drinks for you, so see ya later, nutty professor.
My penis is too big for my dad to suck it, so my mum sucks it instead.
O Dario tem namorada?
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.
Sex.