Relationship jokes

drew here freshfry you are almost deadfry! I forgive you, just don't do it again. You know what I am talking about!

Mom!

Mom (DYM 65).

You: I want my mama.

Me: Soz, you can't even get one.

Addison, it's Emboy again. I just want to be honest, you sound like a tease! And teases get spanked.

When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"

A man walks into a bar and see's a naked lady, "WOOW SHES HOT!" HE picks her up and pee's on her and says, "Hi lady lets have sex."

Why do orphans love dogs?

Because dogs stay with them.

I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships.

It's a sad state of affairs.

What do you call useless skin on a penis?

A man.

Person 1: Omg, my blind boyfriend cheated on me.

Person 2: What did you expect? Him to see other hoes...

I don’t have another talking stage in me. 🤦🏿‍♂️ Do you squirt, and is your BD dead? 😭

John walked into Pat at the barn. He was dancing naked in front of a tractor. John said, "Hey, Pat, what are you doing?"

Pat said, "Well, me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed, so I went to a therapist, and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)."

I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."

Women say men are trash.

Yet men made the phone, laptops, computer and electrical hardware she uses to say men are trash, never mind the electricity she uses to power those devices...

Me and 1/2 of my friends.

I hated getting bullied in school because I could never stand up for myself.

I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.

Fuck you and your shitty family!

I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.