Relationship jokes
What is so annoying? A younger sister.
My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.
I told my wife she was lousy in bed.
She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"
Why do orphans enjoy orgasms?
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"Yo mama so bad we gotta switch to yo papa."
Qualification Check:
Single
Taken
Friended ✔
I want a bigger couch.
Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.
Why did 6 hate 7?
Because 7 ate 9!
Can someone be my daddy?
Why is the divorce rate among socks so high?
What did the toaster say to the bread?
"I want you inside me!"
Boys are like minis.
Girls are like big pots.
Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.
Why did the booty break up with the fart?
It was just too much GASLIGHTING.
You know why they call me 007?
0 girls.
0 chances.
7 restraining orders.
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.
I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(