Relationship jokes
What does a girl want more than anything in the world?
Nothing. She's fine.
I love you like my cuts.
Deeply.
Why can’t an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
Hi, I did not get your text. I texted you when I texted you. You are not [responding].
Pickup line for gay people:
Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
Can't be bothered with jokes, me and Syd Drake f**k 24/7.
Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"
The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"
He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."
One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.
The man asked for some crack.
The woman turned around and said, "Here."
That's where the crack was, you guessed it.
The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."
"Mmmmmmmm, daddy, f*ck me harder. I love you, daddy, mmmm. I luv your cock, mmmm, lick me, lick my clit, daddy!"
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
Dad fucked Mom.
Mom fucked son.
Son fucked sister.
Sister fucked dog.
Dog fucked cat.
Cat fucked bird.
Bird fucked fish.
Fish fucked Dad.
Dad really liked it!
I want your cock in my rock bottom.
You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?
Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!
Doin' ya mom oh yeah oh yeah, doin' doin' ya mom!
Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"
What's fat and wanks over his mom?
Guy Sheppard.
Are you Paris, 'cause Eiffel for you.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was.
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.