Relationship jokes
It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.
What do women and dog turds have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Dmitriy has no mother.
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
When your wife takes 30 minutes to get ready.
Me: Takes five minutes.
Me: Hun, you done yet?
Kaden wants to have sex with you.
"Can we do 69?"
"How about we do 9/11 since we will crash together?"
Fall coming 🍁 grab you a hoodie & sum1's thick thigh baby mama to keep you warm 😌🍂
*Son comes out as gay*
Me: What's 17 more years?
I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.
Snapchat: @colin_green21
I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have big dick. Add me.
Snapchat- any.bry05
What do you get when you cross mums and makeup?
Beauty!
Why are there only 362 days in an orphan's calendar? They don’t have Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Family Day.
Hey Gwen, uhhhhhhh, fresfry told me to tell you I like you. Jk, I don't.
Gwen pegs Xavier.
My boyfriend's sister is mad because I smashed his girl.
"Roses are red, I'm a girl, Now go and take a hike."
Women, you're a marshmallow because you're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.
Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?
Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??
Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.
Alright ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! Have a good fucking life, I hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever I've passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beef, I'll fight u bro, ur prob a stick, I'm fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.