Relationship jokes

I told my wife she was lousy in bed.

She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"

Are you a waterfall?

'Cause I'm falling for you.

What do frogs wear for shoes? Open toad.

What does your mom say to you? "Love you, moody."

Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.

My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!

I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.

Kaden wants to have sex with you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, How many bananas can I fit, Maybe two?

If you're ever bored, jump on Vedanta, what is he going to do, tell his parents? (He probably will.)

Y'know what's really sad?

Why break the fourth wall when you can turn the third wheel?

My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.

I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.

She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...

Your mom stinks.

That is my joke.

You mom doesn’t really stink.

I know I am stupid. 🤕

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're adopted!"

What do you say to your partner with diabetes?

Hey, sugar!

What does a homeless man call his mother?

Useless.

What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?

That’s assault!

Qualification Check:

Single

Taken

Friended ✔

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.

Shrek- Should I pull the trap?

*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*

LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB

Alicia: I said no already, quit it. You are thirsty, leave me alone creep.

Nathan: I wanna sex YOU.

Alicia: I LOVE DICK bud, you're *WEIRD*.

Nathan: WE-WE

Alicia: WEE-WEE?

Nathan: YES YES YES LETS FUCK NOW TAKE them panies off u said yes well in french but u said yes

Alicia: U tricked me I ain fucking u

Nathan: *SEX ME!! BITCH SEX ME OH PLEASE SEX ME SEX ME* *screaming saying it*

Alicia: *WEIRD*

Nathan: Dick ten inches and i geuss u cant call me *10 inched big long dick nathan* your lose

Alicia: WHAT NO.... wait? 10 inches yess

cauh!.cauh! ummm umm long dick goood unmmm couh coun ccccchhou

nathan: why do i have the urge to stick a chicken wing up yo pussy

cuugh umm