Relationship jokes

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.

You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.

Marriage is like buying a car. You see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and certain parts stop working.

Then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and you're still stuck with the old one. You look over and go, "But I just wanna sit in it. Just once. It's even got leather interior, it's chrome, it doesn't even have oil or gas leaks! And it doesn't squeak!"

Your mom.

Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.

I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.

If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?

Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!

Me and a girl went on a walk...

Then she noticed me, then we went for a run. :)

Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.

I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.

Your love life.

I love Mekhi!

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d still only have five cents.

What’s the best thing about a blowjob?

The silence.

What do you call a photo of an orphan who takes a selfie?

A family portrait.

In America, mom births you.

In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.

Gwen, just take Tj as your boyfriend. Gah, just do it so he won't kill himself! Prince will be fine without you!

Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.

Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?