Relationship Jokes

Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!

Closer kin, deeper in !

You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. -- If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.

If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently "in HD" wasn't a good answer.

What does an orgasm and a pulse have in common?

I don't care if she has either.

Everything I fall in love with leaves me. Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging. -- Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

2 friends are talking and the one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The Friend says, "I was in my car."

As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."

"What was your first impression on him?"

"I told him, she calls me daddy too."

How do emos propose

Would you like to join my family tree

My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said You better comeback with a goddamn sandwich

what did Chris Brown say when he saw Rhianna

"I'd hit that"

"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."

today, i asked my phone, "siri why am i still single" and it activated the front camera

So I had a friend who was an orphan and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.

Your at your girlfriends house for a family dinner. Your GF says, " Daddy please pass me the salt." when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.