Relationship jokes
My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.
So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.
61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69... mouthwash.
I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.
How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?
What is the difference between chocolate and sex?
I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.
din mamma
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
What did the boy banana say to the girl banana?
"Dang girl, you are so appealing!" 😙
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
Bros over hos.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
Your momma! OHHHHH!
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons.
"My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump out of the plane."
And his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?"
The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?