Relationship jokes

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?

Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

Are you a rope? Because I want to hang sometimes.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."

This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.

If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"

Children and your meat are actually quite similar.

At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.

Doctor: You should stop masturbating.

Me: Doc, I'm almost done.

At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.

Mom: Let's have an adoption party!

Kid: *cries*

Mom: What's wrong?

Kid: I'M ADOPTED????

Have you watched the show "Naked and Afraid"? Well, I play it every Saturday with my uncle.

I bet you like men!

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.

She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

If an orphan takes a selfie, it is a family photo.

I got a sister.

That was a big mistake.

I'm sorry, but your dad left for milk.

Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"

Roses are red. Violets are blue. My dad is gone to...

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."