Relationship jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, it's really no wonder your mama left you!
Mom, (DYM 147)
Qualification Check:
Single
Taken
Friended ✔
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪
Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.
A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.
Why is the orphan cold?
'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.
Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, and she kept shouting “9!”
That's the best I've done so far.
I finally got a girlfriend.
Her name is Remington Model 32.
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
Hey daddy *winky face*
Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.
Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.
I was staying over at my friend's; for the purpose of the joke, he shall be called Kian. It was 03:00 am and everyone else was asleep when I heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it. Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge; it was thought he had a huge slong.
The banging was getting louder, and so too was my heartbeat. I opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked. There was a glory hole through the wall where I could make it Kian's ass. This is what I have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts, which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards John. I shoved [my] 1-inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "You little gimp, get on the bed."
Kian came in the room with a 2-litre bottle of Irn Bru. He demanded, "What the fudge are you doing?"
I replied smoothly, "Kian, you tracksuit warrior, you have a camel toe!"
Kian fires back, "Shut it, Paul, you have genital warts!"
John screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
He then gives us it so rough I can't walk the next day, but [I] feel pleasured for eternity.
By Lewis
What's Stephen Hawking's wife called? Wendy.
I'm not counting, but I have some fingers for you.
"Just ditched a woman. Feelin' good!" -Techno
Why do orphans love tennis? It's the only love they get.
In tennis, 0 points is love.