Relationship jokes

I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.

Ur mom gay.

My family.

The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!

I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.

I have fun with my friends.

Hi! I love when you walk in and out the door at night. I did not.

What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"

What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.

Do you have a halo?

'Cause I can give it to you.

Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.

Dating a girl and studying mathematics, both give a headache.

Why do orphans love tennis? It's the only love they get.

In tennis, 0 points is love.

I love friends.

They don't have parents because they left when you were 0.

I love you, Hebrew John.

A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"

God replies, "So she would love you..."

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.

How do skyscrapers make friends?

They reach out.

How is a marriage like a hurricane?

In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.

My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.