Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?
Because it's all about family!
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.
I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.
Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.
What do you call gay parents. poly,
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
The orphan also had to cry because the cartels called him "homie."
The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
Little Jonny fucked his mum.
It turns into ligma.
Brother: What's ligma?
Big Brother: Ligma dick!
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
