Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
CJ and Declan's Relationship!
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
I used have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting. I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach? It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
I fucc mi brother
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast. When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the toast god punch line, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man. The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
whats asian but has broken up with its girlfriend a DUMPling
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship and I don't have time for you asap daughter daughter or your mother or your call or your choice of choice
i once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "theyre all dead hookers ince theyre in the trunk."
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
How do you know if your wife is dead?
Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
