Relationship jokes
You're so hot!
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
You twin towers because I'm tryna ram in you tonight.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You look like Shrek, And you make me peck.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.
Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I saw your mom beat you.
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]
Say, "Moommy."
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"