Relationship jokes
How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.
He said, "Best surprise ever!"
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
Why is the divorce rate among socks so high?
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
Sam and Amya like anal sex with each other.
What's another name for an Incel? A feminist.
Roses are red, Violets are fine, You be the 6, I'll be the 9. 😏
We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.
My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her pussy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!
Can someone be my daddy?
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
I'm going to destroy your momma's [vulgar term] just like I destroyed that Tastykake.
I think my dad loves jokes.
Because he laughs when he looks at me.
"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
Why did my parents walk to the other side?
...Why?
How fast is the speed of sex?
68 because at 69 you've got to turn around.
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.