Relationship jokes
What is the definition of "Endless Love"?
Answer: Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing "Tennis"!
I heard you were looking for a stud...
I already have the STD; all I need is you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
Like and comment if you will be my friend!
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
Like, and comment if you're single.
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"
Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!
Tell your mom happy last night. 🍆 in my bed.
Yo life so miserable, the adoption center wouldn't sell you, just give you away!
What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both never get erect.
The daughter milked her dad. It turns out it wasn't milk...
What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?
One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
My friend jokingly confessed to me she did prostitution (consensual).
She wasn't joking. :0
We are 15....