Relationship

Relationship jokes

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20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."

What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?

I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.

Face-Timing My Girlfriend:

"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

Q: What’s the difference between me and you?

A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.

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    • A son walks up to his dad and says, "Dad! I just had sex for the first time."

    The dad goes, "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?"

    The son says, "I can't sit right now, my butt is very sore."

    One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”

    A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."

    My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.

    We never met again.

    Why did Brandon harass Sydney because she didn't want to eat his foreskin?

    Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!