Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
