Relationship jokes

And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.

Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie.

Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.

She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.

Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.

She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.

Five minutes later, she agreed to get with me, so we went and rocked the minivan like, "Giggity, Giggity, Giggity!"

I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"

I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.

I was doin' your mom, yes yours!

You know we straight with doin' your mom.

"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."

Sometimes I wish my gf was here, that way we could have some fun in my bed. Then I realize she's right across the hall. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA)!!

What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?

Oh wait, I am because she's 10.

What's the worst part of a Down Syndrome relationship? There's more downs than ups!

A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.

The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"

What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?

That’s assault!

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.