Relationship jokes
Why did Karen leave me?
Because I was a mushroom.
Why was the chicken black and the other were white? Adoption!
Closer kin, deeper in!
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag.
OK, I'm joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
Babe, it's over.
After all I've done for you? Wow! I cheated on you with your sister anyway.
I meant the movie...
Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?
Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.
Daughter: So she only loves my sister?
Dad: Yep.
His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.
His boss told him: "You suck."
And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.
His boss told him: "You suck for life!"
XD
Today was a bad day. First, my ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver.
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
My family.
Connor: Hi Mom.
Mom:
Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!
Who did Stephen Hawking love more than anyone else?
His wife, "Eye," who was also bad at running.
I fucked my mom.
"and i oop"
Me: I’m going to get burrito 🌯
Friend: You can have my burrito baby.
Gay.
Friend: *begins to moan*
Me: Finna hang up.
What is so annoying? A younger sister.
"What is your number?" "Hi."