Relationship jokes

Everybody loves "appreciation." So that's what I named my dick.

Ur mom gay.

I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"

So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"

The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"

If you're ever bored, adopt an orphan. What is he going to do, be kissed by Vedanta?

I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed.

But she has to. She's his mom.

Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.

If you're bored, hump Danny and fuck him. What is he, goons do fuck rock?

A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."

"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"

"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."

Knock knock. Who's there? Jo. Jo who? Jo Auntie.

If you're ever bored, jump on Vedanta, what is he going to do, tell his parents? (He probably will.)

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked at me surprised.

(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)

What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.

Person: You suck!

Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎

What does PEMDAS stand for?

Penis enters my dad and sister.

My dad left me.

What's the difference between a happy family and a car guy? Only one has a family.