Relationship

Relationship jokes

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Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.

American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"

Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"

German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"

If I adopt a child, is it mine?

🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯😳

What do a doctor and a girlfriend/boyfriend have in common?

They both break your heart.

Why does a heterosexual man believe that if a heterosexual man gets his dick sucked by another heterosexual man it's called a "brojob"?

Because it's male bonding.

If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?

"Not now, I have a headache."

Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.

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    • My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.

    We had sex afterwards even though she lost.

    There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.

    She really hates it when I spit my food back out.

    So I was at high school one day in the bathrooms, and I'm circumcised, and the kid next to me wasn't, so he showed me his pp, and he had a foreskin, so I was just playing with it until the teacher walked in, then I got fired...

    So my son came up to me and said, "Hey, Dad, I’m hungry." So I replied "Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad."

    And then I feed him my dick.

    Why do orphans love tennis? It's the only love they get.

    In tennis, 0 points is love.

    What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.

    Lady: I am going to come to your house.

    Man: Ok.

    An hour later, the lady is at the man's house. The man meets her outside of the house.

    Man: You are going to cum to my house!

    And then he fucks her.

    Lady: Will you fuck me?

    Man: No, I don’t have a penis.

    Lady pulls down man's pants and looks in them. "Yes, you do!" she says.

    Man: Oh, I forgot it was there.

    A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."