Relationship jokes
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?
because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.
One time in the butt. Two times in the butt. Three times in the butt makes a slut hot and wet.
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
When you're excited to finally see your sister, and then you realize she's wearing your clothes.
She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.
I like this Russian girl, but she hasn't asked me to hang off a cliff while drinking vodka.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.
"Yo mama so... Wait... Whose mother am I speaking of?"
When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.
Doc: Can I help you?
Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.
Doc: When did it begin?
Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).
Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...
Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.
Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?
Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.
Why did the brother cross the road? Because the sister farted.
I'm like a teddy bear. I don't like to be fucked.
Principal: You're being bad. I'm gonna need to call your parents!
Orphan: *sits there sadly*
I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. 😉😏
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
Once upon a time, a man said to a woman, "I want to fuck you."