Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
So I was doing a puzzle, and I was getting triggered with it. My friend said, "It's puzzling why you're so triggered."
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
CJ and Declan's Relationship!
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
You know your doctor is gay when he asks you to touch your toes, and then you feel a rub on your back and a tickle on your anus.
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
What's Stephen Hawking's wife called? Wendy.
My friends.
John took a bath with bubbles.
Bubbles was a man.
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my was kicked, let's be friends?
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
I fucc mi brother.
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
Just too bitter.
I sucked a dick.
