Relationship jokes
Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?
They're both "sweet home Alabama."
Why did my dad leave me?
Because I was gay.
Your classmate: You're so ugly.
Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.
This news: family neuters furry son.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What do you call someone who is extra virgin?
Mrs. Frame.
I bought my friend a rope for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book ever.
You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.
Why can’t orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call DADDY! 😩
I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
Answer: a selfie.
I’m horny who else is *ugh ugh papi harder*.
What do you call an orphan's selfie?
A family photo.
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
Dad: Son, you're adopted.
Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.
Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.
Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"
Friend B: "I was until last night."
Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"
Friend B: "Your sister."
Friend A: "I don't have a sister."
Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
You're really sexy 😉
What to say to a single guy who's insulting you: "Shut up, you horny virgin!"