Relationship jokes
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
If I fall in love with my depression, maybe it'll leave me too.
(Took this from my other account @Toby :) btw)
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
Why do orphans love Dom Toretto?
Because "family is everything!"
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."
Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.
I like telling dad jokes.
He laughs at most of them.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, Had some fun. She forgot her pill, And now we have Jonny!
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't know who to call daddy.
Friend: You're adopted.
Orphan: At least I was chosen!
Friend: At least I was kept.
You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
"Yol, what do you think about sex?"
"Good."
Life is like a penis, women make it hard.
Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."