I was at my grandpa's this weekend and I sent my online girlfriend nudes, and when I sent them, my grandpa's phone went off, so he went on his phone, then my girlfriend replied.
Relationship Jokes
My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.
Having sex with three people is a threesome.
Having sex with four people is a foursome.
Then maybe I am handsome after all...
My boyfriend's sister is mad because I smashed his girl.
Karien: Don't care. You know what you did.
Jalie: I don't know what you mean. I did nothing! I'm telling the truth!
Karien: Sure. So you mean you never texted Oerien last night around 2:00 AM?
Jalie: NO, I NEVER DID THAT!
Karien: Jalie, stop the story telling. You were the one who had my phone yesterday. Just stop.
Gina: Ha! YOU HAVE NOTHING!
Orphan: Yes I do.
Gina: What do you have then?
Orphan: Parents.
Gina: LIAR!
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?
It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night? They don’t have a dad to go with.
Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."
Off the nearby cliff.
My wife is like a mirror.
I can never look at it.
Dads are boomerangs, I hope.
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.
The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.
That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."
Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.
Masochists and sadists are made for each other.
A guy walks up to a girl. He says, "Hey, you want a poker? I’ve got one."
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
Guy: Are you gay? I'm orphan.
My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.
He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."
Gwen pegs Xavier.
