Relationship jokes
I caught my wife having s*x with another guy.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have big dick. Add me.
Snapchat- any.bry05
I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.
Snapchat: @colin_green21
penis.
I like penis.
Some girls are like rocks.
You skip the flat ones.
I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.
If an orphan got hit, will they go tell their parents?
Wanna hear a joke? Your dad leaving you, you sad clown!
Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.
What am I doing?
Your mom.
*Son comes out as gay*
Me: What's 17 more years?
Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.
And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?
Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.
Meeting a girl at the park is good. But parking meat in a girl is better.
Meeting a girl at a park is good, but parking meat in girl is better.
The best quote by Kim Jong Un:
"Meeting girl in park is good, but parking meat in girl is better."
My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"
Josh: Cookies.
Jacob: My parents.
Erika: My Friends!
Brody: Lamborghinis.
Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)
My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!
*Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....
Your family tree looks like a circle 💀💀💀