Relationship

Relationship jokes

A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”

I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.

A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.

"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"

"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."

I think my butt looks flat, but my boyfriend seems to think the opposite. I told him to be deadass with me.

What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?

A margarita hits the spot every time.

A man asks God, "Hello God, why did you make my wife so dumb?"

God replies, "So she would love you..."

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?

He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.

My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.

Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.

I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?