Relationship jokes

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."

The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.

How do you stop a woman from choking?

Back up an inch.

Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?

Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.

So I was living with a girl for a few weeks, and it was nice until she found out that I was there.

Kurt Cobain said he wished he was gay.

That's why he married Courtney Love.

I dated an Indian girl for about six months. She was always Sikhing attention.

Something you can say at a job interview and during sex:

"I’m here for the new position?"

I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I told my mom I wanted my first time to be special.

When a woman says, "I need to be treated like a delicate flower," don't cut the wrong cord on the bomb.

Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?

Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."

A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.

The best and worst part about being bi:

Best: Double the love, double the fun.

Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.

If she's not ready for an X-rated movie, she's not ready for this X-rated booty.

What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.

My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:

Starters - role play and stripping.

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.

Dessert - Blowy.

What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".

If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".

If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".

Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.