How do you break up a fight between two gay men Say can you get straight to the point
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah witness had sex with me so hard she turned to Christianity
Went home with a woman last night, I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel
I say Mongrel, it was her Downsyndrome Son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship? Neither one of them, they eat out
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna I’d hit that
I used to date this girl only to find out she’s guy. I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest, after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me
My girlfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
How did Rihanna find out? Chris Brown was cheating on her Found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?
Because they aren't family!
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
What does broccoli and sex have in common? If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
My wife said I have no sense of direction I said, where did that come from?
Why did the booty break up with the fart?
It was just too much GASLIGHTING
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age
