A wife says to her husband 'you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back' 'what do you expect' he says 'you're in a fucking wheelchair'
I dated a furry once The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah
Why do some couples go to the gym together? Because they want their relationship to work out.
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erect*on?” Wife: “ok... what is it?” Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now”.
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again. Husband: Wait dear.. Don’t do it for the sake of our kid! Wife: Kid? Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant. Dad: well is she already part of the family? Son: Yes, why? Dad: then there’s no need to be worried.
Husband: Dammit alice! I'm your husband and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you! Wife: Go to hell Bob! I'm Leaving! Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
Rizz
Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you.
Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.
rizz
are you a biographer cause i picture us toghether can i take a picture of you for i can show santa what i want for christmas No pen No paper you still draw my attention you know what i hate about math they always talk about x and y but not about u and i
Im at my happiest point in life im dating someone thats autistic, and i was just saying i needed someone special in my life.
My sister's pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad!
@everyone.. whats so funny is that JIT thinks hes so "cool" and that everyone is "amazed" about him hating on people who is wayyy above him on the roster. the pathetic part is that he hates on everyone elses family nd relationships when 100% of us have a WAYY better one then he will ever deserve. he was born pathetic, and will die pathetic. so JIT please tell me what its like to be such a coward?
If your buy renault megane, all your girls will be gone
Mia: I'm Preganant Again Paul I Can't wait for you to come home. Paul: I Got a Tree to Hit on the Way
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours? Girl: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.
If two feminazis are carpet munchers which one in the lesbian relationship cooks? They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️
In a lesbian relationship which feminazi cooks? None both carpetmunchers eat out
