Relationship jokes
I was in the bedroom slapping your girl harder than Will at the Oscars.
What did the Chinese man say to his wife?
I'll chin you later.
What do you call a dad without a dad joke?
Dead.
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
William Spiser is SOOOOOOO gay and likes MEN!
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
Why was the orphan single? Because it could not call someone "daddy".
Why can't an orphan be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
My stepsister is a big titty goth. Should I tap that?
My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"
What starts with M, ends with arriage, and is every guy's favorite thing? Miscarriage.
That one never gets old, just like the baby.
"Where are you? I need to throw you out because Mum said to take out the trash."
What did the feather say to his wife?
You light my day.
What do Nemo and my dad have in common?
They both can't be found.
What do you call an emo dating another emo?
The suicide duo.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!