Relationship jokes
A girl said she liked dogs. I called her a bitch.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.
An orphan girl's boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?
"If her parents didn't want her, why should I?"
Your mom is hot.
I'm jealous of the people who never met you.
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
Why do orphans not like July 24th??
Because it's Parents Day.
"Mom, these balloons are hard to blow."
"Son, stay out of the drawer."
Why did the penis go fly?
Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.
What's the difference between being gay and straight? Well, it is the hole.
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
I want to cream, rn.
What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?
I don’t turn on a light switch.
Yo mama so fat, she took both sides of the family.
"Jump in the Cadillac, girl, let's put some miles on it."
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
You and Jason in your bed.