Red jokes
A man was mowing his lawn when blue and red stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew, a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)
The doctor says to the woman, "There was good and bad news." The woman says she wants the bad news first. The doctor says, "The bad news is the baby had red hair." Then he said, "The good news is, it is dead."
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.
One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
If Stephen Hawking was an Xbox... he just red ringed and rose up to GameStop.
Why did the tomato go red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
My shirt is only red when I think about sex.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
What is black, white, and red all over?
My third wife.
What's black and white and red all over?
A massacre at a funeral.
Well, I don't have a joke but... I have a poem.
My dick is red, your pussy is blue. I... lied to you.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
GET IN THE VAN!!
What is blue but smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.
What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion.
What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?
A miscarriage.