Red jokes
My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:
I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.
Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.
Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.
If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
Why did the Red Sox lose?
They say, "Boo, Colorado Rockies."
Roses are red, violets are not, everyone at Grant High School is probably a thot.
What has 2 legs and is red all over?
Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, How many bananas can I fit, Maybe two?
Roses are red.
Roses are red.
Roses are red.
I smell burnt toast.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Everything is black, I can't see, can you?
What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that's just been raped.
Q: What’s Homer Simpson’s least favorite style of beer?
A: Flanders Red Ale.
Roses are red, chocolate is brown,
I expect nothing and still get let down!
Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you?
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."
So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."