Red jokes
Q: What’s Homer Simpson’s least favorite style of beer?
A: Flanders Red Ale.
Roses are red, chocolate is brown,
I expect nothing and still get let down!
Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you?
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."
So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.
Roses are red.
Grass is green.
I think of you sucking my peen.
Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.
Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"
The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
Q: What's red and screams?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.
How do make an adult cry?
Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An ethnic orgy.