After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.
What is black , white and red all over
A dead zebra 🦓
What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?
The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.
What’s red, gold, and blank in Las Vegas?
Tupac
Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.
Ok rose are red violets are blue barney looks better then you
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.
The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."
Roses are red, lemons are sour.
Open your legs and give me an hour.
Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?
In Washington D.C.
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.
