Red jokes
Roses are red.
Grass is green.
I think of you sucking my peen.
Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.
Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"
The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."
I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
Q: What's red and screams?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.
How do make an adult cry?
Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
Little Jimmy has 5 red apples. His dad's car will arrive in 20 minutes. Calculate the mass of the Sun.
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An ethnic orgy.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing, his mouth was full.
What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?
You after you disrespect me.
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.
What is black, white, and red all over?
A dead zebra 🦓