I recently got kicked out of a casino because i apparantly misunderstood what the craps table was for
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today? Person 2: “Seven” Person: 1: “What the fuck dude..” Person 2: “I know right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.” (Based on an encounter I had recently)
My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights
He arrested me for impersonating Gorge Floyd. *I have seizures*
There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt........ Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't
I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...I bought a Dalek egg timer recently... After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win - however, no pun in ten did.
I had to share a table recently with a disabled man when I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.
Michael Jackson was recently sighted at target. Why? The sale was all boys pants half off!
One morning peppy and George came downstairs for Breckfast but they got a plate of juicy bacon there dad had recently gone missing so they ate it quite sadly the next morning they went to school and asked their teacher what is bacon made out of the teacher replied “pigs why?”peppa and George looked horrified
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
What country has been the hottest in recent years?
Sri Lanka, They had 3 bombs in a day
My girlfriend passed away recently.
at the funeral everyone was shocked about it
Still even when dead she is the best shag I've ever known
My best friend was Was recently gunned down in a drive-by shooting and died a virgin, but he wasn’t buried one
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4 and he started crying, what's he gon do? tell his family? XD
According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain."
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
Who is the gorilla"s favorite president of the most recent years? It's hairy truman.
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends. Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot. You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate."
