I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
Reason Jokes
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.
Why does Sally have no friends? Because she is obese.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because I unplugged his life support to charge my phone.
Why did Bob go to the store? To bob for apples.
The reason I'm gay is because I'm scared of getting cooties.
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?
Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
Why can’t you high five a Japanese person?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Why did Mimi cross the road?
She had cancer.
One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.
"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"
Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."
"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."
"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."
"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."
"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.
"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."
"Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!"
"Great job Sally! What did she say?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
Why did Princess Di cross the road?
Momentum.
Did you know why they added Alexa for Stephen Hawking?
What is the reason for the first time since I've seen a lot to be desired in the morning? To you, eat ass...
Why is Earth flat?
Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"
