Yo mama so fat, she's the reason why Slenderman has no eyes.
Reason Jokes
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because his ethernet cable disconnected.
Why do people have sex? Because they're dumb.
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”
Reply back with “Because you were born.”
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
For absolutely no reason.
There's an orphan in my class... For some reason, he never leaves.
So, if the reason people used to hang women was because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung, would they be called wizards?
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
The whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting "Remind me later" on his Windows Updates.
Why did all the numbers laugh at 22? Because it had "tu tu's."
Why did the mushroom go to the party??
Because he was a fungi!
I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream?
Because he was dead.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
Why did the sun go to church?
Because it needs Jesus.
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...
Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
