Really jokes

Who is the Hamburglar's perverted cousin?

The Turdburglar.

You really do not want to see the mess these two make of the washrooms in a fast food joint.

In Junior High, we had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood the report and wrote about how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.

"Watch out, plane! Wait, really? I ordered pepperoni."

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

Time really freezes when you're stuck on a sinking ship.

Steve Kerr really named his son Nick.

Damn, the terrorists from CS:GO really do be learning to fly.

I am really hot, but I hate water. What am I?

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

Why do orphans like Spider-Man?

'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!

I'll really mist ya.

Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."

Nobody stands up.

After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."

Little Johnny stands up.

"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"

"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."

What do you call a man in love with an emo?

I really don't know.

Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."