Really jokes

Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

Time really freezes when you're stuck on a sinking ship.

Steve Kerr really named his son Nick.

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

Damn, the terrorists from CS:GO really do be learning to fly.

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

What do you call a man in love with an emo?

I really don't know.

Why do orphans like Spider-Man?

'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!

I'll really mist ya.

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."

Nobody stands up.

After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."

Little Johnny stands up.

"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"

"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."

I hope you see this plugin, but if you're listening to this, I really want to give you a little more...

Freshfry, are you there? I really want to talk to you!

Love, Gwen.

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?