Really jokes

My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.

(Again, credits to my really funny friend)

I heard that Uranus is pronounced "yuuranus," but it reminded me of urine! 😆

Aaaah, I really wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor...

I really need some new parts to my go-kart.

What has two wheels and goes really fast?

A vegetable down a hill.

Fe fi foung better run and hide: Covid (really).

You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.

All I have to do is go to the Africa section.

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class and I said, "Man, they are really bad at Jenga!"

Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.

Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.

Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.

If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂

I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.

Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!

You really seem like you don't want to be laughing at that rape joke, but somewhat ironically, I'm forcing you.

"How would you describe a really bad skeleton?"

"Bad to the bone!" (Or "Rotten to the bone" if you want.)

"Watch out, plane! Wait, really? I ordered pepperoni."

In Junior High, we had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood the report and wrote about how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.

In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.

Time really freezes when you're stuck on a sinking ship.

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.