Really jokes

My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.

(Again, credits to my really funny friend)

I heard that Uranus is pronounced "yuuranus," but it reminded me of urine! 😆

Fe fi foung better run and hide: Covid (really).

You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.

All I have to do is go to the Africa section.

I really like those "driverless cars." I saw loads of them last week in the car park.

Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.

Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.

If orphans aren’t religious, they really have no father. 😂

What do you call a really fat psychic?

4chin Teller

Are you a gravestone?

Because I really wish you were on top of me right now!

I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.

It was really heavy on me.

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Steve Kerr really named his son Nick.

Time really freezes when you're stuck on a sinking ship.

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"

I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.