Really jokes
I'm Jessica, and I really want to talk to Ashton Parkes.
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
Did you hear that Alicia wrecked her Lexus?
It's really a shame. She had to give her dad 3 months worth of blowjobs before he'd pay for it.
How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
Call her on the phone.
I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.
Welcome for the rhyme.
I would give you my crayons if you were really hungry.
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.
I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. Turns out, I'm not gonna be a doctor.
I am really gay. I just needed to confess this.
My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.
The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.
The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.
LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
What did Henry VIII say when he was asked to review Six the Musical?
"It was okay, but I really think they could have cut a few parts."
I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.