Really jokes

Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?

Woman: No, really?

Man: Well, the one I fucked did...

When I was very young...

My classmates played a game called kiss chase. Some were really good at catching the girls and then kissing them.

They are rapists now.

Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.

A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."

I sexually identify as kilometers per second.

Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).

Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.

Have you ever tried anal bleaching?

It really helps assholes lighten up.

Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!

You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!

I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.

My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"

I said, "Paper."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"

The past, present, and future walk into a bar.

It gets really tense.

Friend: Why did you touch me?

Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.

When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.

I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.

Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."

He said, "What do you want?"

I said, "To be your new father."

"Really??!" the orphan said.

Me: Lol, no.

Orphan *Jumps into street*

Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(

Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.

One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!