Real jokes

Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.

He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.

He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.

Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"

The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."

Wanna hear a joke?

Jesus being real.

How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?

199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).

Get?

Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.

Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.

Guy #2: Why, what is it?

Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.

Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...

Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!

What's the only time women are doing real work? When they are giving blow jobs.

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!

What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?

Abdi and Tunde are real.

Others, tearfully: Stop shipping real people!!

Me, packing an old lady in a FedEx box: Nope!

I look at your bro.

And all I can see is the real definition of *"Lack of Grace!"*

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!

Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.

Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂

Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.

Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.

Why do orphans like Monopoly?

To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.

When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.

I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.

Real Pokémon.

Anxiety evolved into depression. Depression was the final stage evolution.

Who thinks Gwen and dumb bitch prince should *STOP* dating! AND LET THE REAL LOVERS *Gwen and Aiden* RESUME TO *LOVE* SAY ME IN THE COMMENTS SO NOT!!!!!!!!

My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.

Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."