Real Jokes

Prince, please talk to me for real...

Let's sort this out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please, please answer me. I need an answer!!!!!!!!!!!! BTW, Princess, my name is Gwen, and I am not a faker!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prince, I promise you that "qwen" girl you're chatting with is a faker! I am the real lover for you, not her. She's a stranger!

"I swear I'm the real Gwen! I swear on my life!"

Don't make a person look a fool when you are the real one!

I feel weird to ask this, but can anyone guess my real name?

#Imbored

Why have I not seen these posters in my neighbourhood?

A poster on a wooden pole reads "Pleasuring yourself with a vape? Try masturbation instead. Masturbation alone or with a friend is a great safe alternative to vaping." There is also a website "WhatsInAVape.com" and "THE REAL COST" on the poster.

Akeld, just want you to know: Leave me and Gwen alone.

Real me.

Yo head so big I can skate on yo head.

I'm talking bout real real big, set a plate on yo head, charge a phone on yo head, build a home on yo head, studio wide, write a song on yo head.

Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.

Your momma is so ugly, the director thought she was a real zombie.

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .

You guys know BeReal?

BeReal? More like cereal.

Get it? BeReal = cereal.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Keagan's FIFA team should be this terrible, also the problem is that Keagan is a Real Madrid fan.

Yo mama so stupid, your mama thinks that VR is real life.

I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!

When you're in a cage But it's not real!

Being in a cage But you have the key.

Being in a cage But nobody sees you.

Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.

Living and realizing you've been born into one.

Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.

But you can't live without them.

The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.

Once upon a time, a donkey was in the jungle. Suddenly, he found a lion costume and then wore it. Then he walked around the forest, and every animal was scared of him. Then he got to the city, and every human was away from him. He was chasing them when he was chasing his owner. He brayed, and then they figured out that this was not a real lion, and then he told everybody about it. Then he berated his donkey.

Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.

And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.

And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"