Put jokes

The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.

Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?

I tried to hit G by putting D.

The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An extraction.

I didn't put my kids up for adoption.

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a boogie in it!

Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.

"Knuckle babies" don't eat.

My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.

Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.

The way you are so ugly your parents even regret the day you were born.

The way you are so black when your mom is bathing you in the dark, she has to put flour in the water to see you.

🤣🤣🤣

Zis iz za best joke in za west: exsepz if zu put ketup in shawarma itz yo mama!

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

Your hairline is so far back that when your teacher puts you in the front of the class, your hairline is quite in the back.

You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.

Yo hairline so put back that you could put 10 big size ramen noodles there.

I just got my COVID vaccine, and this lady said, "You have no idea what you put in your body." I said, "Yet you are eating chorizo."

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?

Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.

My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.

Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.