I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
Why did the emo get put at the back of the line? He cut himself.
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.
Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.
I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.