I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a piñata
Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.
Have you heard of the new book about Anti-Gravity? Well I just can't seem to put it down
Why is it wrong to put a beef or turkey patty in a burger?
Cuz it's a ham-burger isn't it?
Why didn't the skeleton want to make art anymore? He didn't have the heart to put into it.
I've just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
I got banned from the library from putting a book about woman's rights in the fantasy section.
I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction".
How did Helen keller's mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.
What is the difference between a gay man and a fridge? A fridge doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
i got sent out of a library for putting a womens rights book in the fiction section.
The duck bought lipstick when he paid he said put it on my bill
Chuck Norris one put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm “This place looks scary” they kid said And the man replies” I know right, I have to walk out of there alone”
you wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "a refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it"
YOUR MAMA SO FAT WHEN SHE ASKED FOR A WATER BED THEY PUT A BLAKET OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man that is homophobic into giving him a brojob? the gay man puts mustard on his dick and then puts his dick inside a glory hole
a little boy decided to burn a house down. the father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "thats arson"
What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby, The refigerator dosent cry when i put my meat in it
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
