Put jokes
Rizz
Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you.
Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.
I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.
I read a book on anti-gravity...
It was impossible to put down.
Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
And that concludes your French oral. You can put your trousers back up, and I'll see you on Monday.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
Your hairline is so pushed back, it's looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
I have been thinking about suicide lately. I mean, hey, my mom tells me I can do anything I put my mind to.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
Yo mama so ugly, Itachi couldn't look at her to put her in a genjutsu.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.
You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.
I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.
A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."