Put jokes
I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.
Rizz
Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you.
Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.
So I went to my friend's funeral today. As we were all leaving, a kid put a "get well soon" card next to my friend's grave. 'Poor kid'.
I read a book on anti-gravity...
It was impossible to put down.
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
And that concludes your French oral. You can put your trousers back up, and I'll see you on Monday.
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
I have been thinking about suicide lately. I mean, hey, my mom tells me I can do anything I put my mind to.
Your hairline is so pushed back, it's looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.
Yo mama so ugly, Itachi couldn't look at her to put her in a genjutsu.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
Me: I got kicked out of the library the other day.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because I put the women rights book in the fiction section.