Put jokes
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
I was walking in the forest with my gf.
I had a Desert Eagle for protection.
A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
How To Kill A Blonde 101:
First Step: Get a pool.
Second Step: Put a scratch-and-sniff at the bottom.
Roses are red,
Potatoes are brown,
Your mom's so hot,
I put her down.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
Everyone put your age here.
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!
Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.