Put jokes
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
What's the biggest problem with gravity?
It keeps putting people down.
Memes
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
Everyone put your age here.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!
Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.
Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?
'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!
We are close to beating the world record of comments on this website (171). Right now, there are 155, so put more comments!
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!