Put jokes
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
8008135 is my favorite number.
The worst ratio is 6:9.
And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!
Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.
Everyone put your age here.
Memes
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
We are close to beating the world record of comments on this website (171). Right now, there are 155, so put more comments!
Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?
'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!
What's the biggest problem with gravity?
It keeps putting people down.
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
Roses are red,
Potatoes are brown,
Your mom's so hot,
I put her down.
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?