Put jokes

8008135 is my favorite number.

The worst ratio is 6:9.

And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.

How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.

Found this girl in Hawaii.

Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."

What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.

What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?

Only one moans when I put my meat in it.

Everyone put your age here.

She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!

Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.

What's the biggest problem with gravity?

It keeps putting people down.

We are close to beating the world record of comments on this website (171). Right now, there are 155, so put more comments!

Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?

'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!

Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.

Roses are red,

Potatoes are brown,

Your mom's so hot,

I put her down.

Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.

Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.

How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?

Put ranch dressing on it.

I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.

Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?

Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.