Put jokes

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.

A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?

Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.

How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?

Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.

How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?

Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.

How did she survive?

Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.

These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.

Why did they put the Petronas towers? Eh, you do you.

According to the Police report, what did one traffic signal say to the other?

"Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light..."

How do you play chess with a Catholic?

You put a condom on the bishop.

Hi guys, the prankster is back!

I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...

When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!

Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!

One day a Chief was talking to his son... "Son," the father said, "Long ago the Woman didn't have anybody to take her to BINGO. So, the Creator put the Woman to sleep and cut off her butt cheeks and made her a Man. That's why today Indian Women have no butt, and the Men are called Buttheads!"

Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow? So it could have sweet dreams.

I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.

Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender? Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?

Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the look on its face as you climax.

I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.

Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.

What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?

DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!

I will remember my brother's last words: if you can't put a fork in a toaster, how about a spoon?

What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.

How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?

Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.

How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.

Zis iz za best joke in za west: exsepz if zu put ketup in shawarma itz yo mama!