Puns

This rat did the most amazing thing ever it was pretty radical dude.

One day I came home from school and said to my dad 'I got expelled from school today' he said ' how' I said I threw my book at the teacher' he asked why' I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program and my teacher said words can't hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. '

I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.

I went outside to catch some dog but I mist

My sister has cows and after 4 months she said the was a miss steak.

Laugh.

a gay couple and a lesibian couple are going to the airport which one gets there first ... the lesibian duh they get there "LICITY SPLIT "

what do you call a gay cactus a "PRICK"

What do stomata use to fill their pools? Chlor-ine

I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!

Josh

Need an arch? I Noah guy.

my dick itches

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To get the Chinese Daily! Get it? I don't either- I get the New York Times!

what do you call a girl that likes reading,page

A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”

The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”

Guess who dies next.