Puns

Bruh don’t be punny

(True story) Today I was bring some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “oh, now they’re broken.” And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”

what do you say when jacks late to sex ed??? aye-jack-you-late

What site does a vegetable go when he/she is stressed?

cornhub.com

Why 6 hate 7 ? Because 7 ate 9

A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970 and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband. She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.

Wait, what? Was he actually her husband. He was a christian so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.

Wait, what? the bible doesn't say that.

Actually yes it does and marital rape was legal until 1990.

WAIT WHAT? Thats not funny.

I'll tell ya whats funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.

Whats black and white and red all over? The darkness of your heart, the dishonour of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.

If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes what would you get? A retiree

What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose “I have a runny volcanoes”

Id make a joke about pizza, but its too cheesy. I know yall have too thick of a crust to get it!

Boss: how good are you at powerpoint? Me: I Excel at it. Boss: Was that a microsoft pun? Me: Word

Why’d did the tomato blush because it saw the salad dressing

how did the chinese chicken cross the road?

he WOKed

What do you call you mom.

Monkey

Bad Hitler puns are infuhreriating.

i got banana nut bread for you

oh no the nuts are missing

oh i found them

you know where they are?

UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!

Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

A: Bison.

what's the difference between a car and a car i have absolutely no idea sorry

What do you call a piece of paper? A piece of paper

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child*