A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything."
What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa? Klaustrophobic
A list of sansnpuns would be sans tastic
what flour do orphan's use?
self raising flour
i love telling dad jokes,he always laughs
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
why are emo jokes so infamous? because they cut deep
Q: why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: because they were a racquet!
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun but at the end I ran out of oxygen. It was a breathtaking experience.
What do you do with a dead scientist
You barium
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
Velcro is such a rip-off
i hate stairs their always up to something
So some ants in a colony go to war. they want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants. they start barging into home's to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home and the lady-ant goes "Hey. why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants reply with "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house"
How did the flight attendant want their burger?
Just plane!
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon)-Don't go bacon my heart (Egg)-I couldn't if I fried
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you
Why did the crumb cake isolate him self? He had a crumbling social life
why did the skeleton not go the ball? Because he had no body to go with
