when does it rain money? -- when there's a change in the weather.
What did the banana say to the peel “Let’s split”
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad if you're up there
I wanted to get brain surgery. I changed my mind.
What's a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A Trombone.
I told a chemistry joke there was no reaction
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse but I beat her to it
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting? A: Because they were fencing.
That joke and paper have one thing in common they're both tearable
What do you call a fly without wings
-
A walk
Duck walks Into a bar the duck says to the bartender hey bartender got any bread bartender says no then the duck says hey bartender got any bread bartender says NO duck says hey bartender got any bread bartender says no and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar duck says hey bartender got any nails bartender says no the duck says well then bartender got any bread
Do you know why I hate pedophiles?
They are fucking immature kids!
What is a penguin without a pen? A guin...
Somebody told me chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
A clown held a door open for me, I thought it was a nice jester
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo
paper.
aww c'mon! i thought my joke made the Cut!
They finally made a movie about a clock, about time
When you see a deer what do you say?
Oh Deer!
