Puns
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
Why was the obtuse angle hot?
It was more than 90 degrees.
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.
What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."
You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
8008135 is my favorite number.
The worst ratio is 6:9.
And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.