Puns
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
Why was the obtuse angle hot?
It was more than 90 degrees.
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.
What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."
You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
Once my friend's bakery burned down... His business is toast.
Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
What do Time Clocks like to play?
Tick Tack Toe.
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."