Puns
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
My dad told me that his dreams were shattered a few years ago.
Then I asked him how many years ago.
He replied with, "When were you born?"
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
Why was the obtuse angle hot?
It was more than 90 degrees.
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.
What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."
You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
What do Time Clocks like to play?
Tick Tack Toe.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."