Puns

I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?

An escapea.

"Guess how I got to Germany so fast?"

"Because I was Russian!"

My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it was stuck in a crack.

A woman wakes up in a hospital after an accident and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"

And the doctor says, "I know, I amputated your arms."

What kind of pictures do turtles take?

Shelfies.

A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers and says, "Five beers, please!"

I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

Don't trust stairs... They are always up to something.

What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?

It was scrambled.

Why don't dinosaurs lay eggs?

Because they're EGGstinct!

I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.

Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!

What was the doctor's diagnosis on a dinosaur with a low sex drive? Teraerectile dysfunction.

How do you make antifreeze?

You steal her blanket.

I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.

Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana.

“Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.