I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. last time she just let it go.
Why was the computer so good at golf? because he had a hard drive
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?" "Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll
What do you call a clever clock? Clockwise
life as an elevator has its ups and downs
HAving sex while camping is f******* in tents (intense)...
A Vampire Stalks you into a field of corn, The stakes have never been higher...
What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"oh my God, you're such a beach"
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
What do you call a steak that tastes bad? A MISsteak
What’s brock from pokemon favourite food?
Brockoli
imagine the russians showing up late to the 1917 revoloution with a tsarbucks in hand. they were late so I guess they weren't russian. They were probaly stalin.
What did the dalmation dog say after he finished his meal?
That hit the spot?
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur: a dinosnore!
I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
what did the policeman say to his belly button?
YOU'RE UNDER A VEST