What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
"Guess how I got to Germany so fast?"
"Because I was Russian!"
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road Because it was stuck in a crack
a women wakes up in a hospital after a accident and yells "doctor doctor i cant feel my legs" and the doctor say "i know i amputated your arms"
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
What kind of pictures do turtles take? Shelfies
A roman walks into a Bar and holds up 2 fingers and says "Five beers,please"
I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
Dont trust stairs... They are always up to something
Why don't dinosaurs lay eggs? Because they're EGGstinct!
Knock Knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
What was the doctor's diagnoses on a dinosaur with a low sex drive? teraerectile dysfunction
How do you make antifreeze You steal her blanket
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty
Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana. “Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”
Why was the chef embarrassed. He saw the salad dressing.
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle, Dimes if you feed it beans.
