Puns

Can I branch out to some tree puns? Willow you allow me it’s only fur. No? Oakome on!

Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?

They only come out for the boos.

I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.

I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...

I was two tired.

Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy?

A: Because it was on crack.

What card is the slowest and slimiest?

Ace-nail.

I think you're eggcellent!

My puns are awesome, pure gold.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?"

Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two ;)

What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?

- A VEGUN.

I have a friend called Jakob and asked him, "Where my crackers are?"

Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!

The date is April 1st.

Somebody asks you what you are doing.

“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“

I am going to scream, this is a cry for help.

I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...

Flat Earthers

What did one needle say to the other?

"You be looking sharp!"

What do you call a duck on drugs?

A quackhead.