Puns
If you don't stop with the puns, soon it won't be so fun.
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.
A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.
Now she's having a breakfast.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there? Control Freak. Con… OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”
A pun walked into a room and killed ten people. Pun in, ten dead.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
What do you call a disabled man with a gun?
"Special forces."
Teacher to Student: You are supposed to be here at 9 am!
Student: Oh, did I miss anything?
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana.
“Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
I don't know what to say.
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
What did the author say when he got a correct answer? "I got it right!"