Puns
What kind of overalls does Mario wear?
Denim-denim-denim!
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
I don't have luck with other angels. So I just WING IT!
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
The guy who made the knock knock joke deserves a no-bell prize.
What has 4 legs and two gloves?
All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
Roses are red, But grass is greener, When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
Dear math,
Please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you.
Thanks.
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
What did the bull say to the bullfighter?
What's the "matador?"
"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."
"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"
Why did the pen stop writing?
'Cause the pen wasn't very dependable.
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.