Puns
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"SUPPLIES!"
My wife still misses me...
But her aim is getting better!
I quit my job at the bank today. I lost interest.
What do super fancy music conductors wear?
A Louis baton.
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.
What's a car's favorite place to hang out?
A CARnival!
Emo t-shirt:
"EXISTENCE IS FUTILE."
Two antennas met on a roof and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible.
What kind of overalls does Mario wear?
Denim-denim-denim!
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 Detour.
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
I was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only I thought it was so dium funny.
Some moving men had just begun their day's work.
The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.
The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."
On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?
On the outer side. 😂😂
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.