I went on a dating site looking for arsonists
I found a lot of matches
I heard there was a kidnapping
Don't worry he woke up
In the back of a van
It was his father's
Friend who was a priest
He was just bringing him to church
Aren't paraplegics just plegics who can fly?
if you try to fail and you succeed which one did you do
I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea
Why don't dinosaurs lay eggs? Because they're EGGstinct!
Two flies were playing football in a saucer. One tells the other, “ you’ll need more practice if you want to play in the cup”
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil but now it is pointless
why did the cookie go to the hospital because it felt crummy
Why didn't the drummer play? ....... because he got a percussion.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where's my tractor?
Q: Why did the fault line start acting crazy? A: Because it was on crack.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my co-workers found gold. I said AU, bring that over here!
what did one brick say to the other. Never LEGO
Knock Knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
Why are mountains so funny? -- Because they are hill areas.
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b
